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I had a friend that used to do this all the time. He was a dick. He once told me “every time I’ve ever had a Twinkie, there hasn’t been any cream inside.” I thought that was about the stupidest thing I’d ever heard, so he went into a gas station. He came out with Twinkies and bit into them. I swear there was no cream in either one, it was so bizarre. I suspect this was God’s way of punishing him for driving like a dick.

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